When We Don’t Like Each Other, We Don’t Like Anything

Nobody experiences an uncomfortable situation or stays in it for pleasure. Not even the so-called “masochists”. After all, we all want to be calm and as happy as possible. However, we don’t always find ways to do this. In fact, this path becomes much more complex when we don’t like each other.

Most people were not born and raised under ideal conditions. And many have faced very adverse circumstances from an early age. One of the most common situations is that of having grown up in a hostile environment, in which there was no recognition or appreciation.

When we don’t like ourselves, we always have to dive into that distant past . It is there that we find the reasons why we have learned to evaluate ourselves negatively, so as not to be able to value our results or perceive our virtues. It is there that the poisoned seed of wanting to be another, of wanting to live another life or, in some way, to escape what one is was born. The good news is that it is never too late to undo that damage and reconcile with one’s being.

In this way, the idea of ​​not liking oneself is manifested

The problem when we don’t like ourselves is that in the end we don’t like anything. In reality the world ends up becoming a projection of what we carry inside. In concrete terms, it is not the world that has pleasant or unpleasant aspects, but it is we who see it in one way or another.

If we don’t like each other, everything about us ends up being unpleasant or of little value in our eyes. One usually rejoices and discourages with great ease. We always end up finding some aspect in every reality that leads us to see it with disenchantment.

Many things are started and nothing is finished, because the enthusiasm runs out. There is always a way to see some aspect in a negative way. Very big, very small, very far, very close…  Any aspect that is in principle neutral is transformed into something negative or worthless, without realizing it. You simply feel bad and project this state, without this being intentional. You actually have an open wound and are in pain.

What happens in our life when we don’t like each other

The discrepancy is not a fact, but a point of view. The world and reality are what they are. Each human being gives meaning to his or her universe. Our perspective of reality says much more about ourselves than about the way things are themselves.

When we do not like ourselves, we cannot give positive meanings to what we see, to what we hear, to what we perceive, to what comes into our life …

One of the most worrying aspects is that without realizing it this becomes a habit. Our mind begins to function automatically. It works like a bloodhound who is always on the lookout for the worst side of everything. And as you always find it, this feeds the idea that the world and reality are something deplorable.

This approach is unwittingly chosen to deal with reality. But you don’t do it for pleasure. It is simply a way to deal with the traces of a rejection that has managed to hurt us to the core. Our contempt for everything around us is simply a way to process the pain of knowing we don’t like us.

Do’s and Don’ts

What we are, what we feel and what we think was probably ignored, disqualified or simply rejected during our childhood, at home or in our immediate environment. And certainly it was also a reiterative fact.

As children we couldn’t understand what was happening. We grew up with the idea of ​​being “bad”, in whole or in part. And it is almost certain that even those who acted in this way with us did not like themselves. He projected his non-conformity onto us. He was in a similar position to where we are now. He saw what was negative in his eyes and ignored the positive aspects. It is a chain that becomes infinite until someone decides to break it.

The ideal would be for us to say “enough is enough”. That we were the ones to end this story of unhappiness, non-conformity and prejudice. Of course, we all have unpleasant aspects, but  in essence we have a value that nothing and no one can question. We are neither more nor less than anyone. We have the right to make mistakes and also to be happy. It is time to build a new perspective.