The Need Not To Be Alone Makes Us Vulnerable

Loneliness has two sides: it can be a deadly enemy who knocks you down with his strength or a best friend who helps you focus on what you truly love and always need.

Loneliness can make you think deeply about what you want, what you want to be and who you are. We all need a few moments of solitude. We need our space to be alone with ourselves and think.

However, there are people who can’t enjoy certain moments because they don’t feel comfortable. Being alone makes them feel vulnerable, so they always prefer to surround themselves with people; even just to have someone to share their days with. For the simple fear of loneliness.

Don’t you go to the movies anymore because you don’t have someone to talk to about the movie? In fact, it’s just an excuse not to go it alone.

The need for companionship can confuse friendship with love

Not having someone to share experiences, feelings, sensations, doubts, little moments and so on with; not have someone shake your hand and tell you that everything will be fine; that he consoles you in moments of weakness and abandonment; that it supports you when you have to make a decision or that it listens to you when it is time to decide on the future and looks you in the eyes, with all the depth of love.

If you have experienced these feelings in the past, but they no longer exist in your relationship, it is normal to miss them. The same goes for those who have never tried them. S i misses those feelings that were produced in your body or the emotions you know you could have felt.

Feel the heart vibrate, feel the butterflies in the stomach before meeting that person. You feel the need to experience those emotions again to help you remember that you are not alone. But the need to go back to feeling those feelings can push you to disguise your true emotions, dressing and adorning them to feel the emotion of love.

Maybe you find yourself buying a very expensive dress to look really beautiful next time you go out. Because this is what you would do if you still had those feelings. Because you miss them and would like to come back to try them to feel alive. To convince you that everything is still possible, that everything can repeat itself. That everything is repeating itself.

Sooner or later, however, the mind will show you things with clarity. Because unwittingly you have put obstacles in your path: “I have to do …”, “I can’t …”, “it’s just that …”. Excuses you give yourself to silence your conscience and leave the other person responsible for the fact that your relationship is not working.

Disguising your emotions is not the solution. The feelings you have towards that person are made up, you have painted them in bright colors to make them seem real. But at the first gust of wind the house of cards you have built will fall to the ground.

Having complete and absolute certainty that a relationship will work is impossible. However, you can always be sure that you are using everything in your possession to make it work. Try to understand if you really have the reins of your life in hand, if you are acting consistently or if you have entered into a relationship only out of necessity.

Necessity breeds dependence

Needing the company of another person is addictive. An emotional addiction that consumes and annihilates as people. There may come a time in your life when you are willing to pay a very high price to share your life with someone and not feel alone. That price is part of the need you feel for each other.

Be aware that your attitudes towards the person you are with may not all follow the same rules.

To combat emotional addiction, both partners need to be aware of their relationship. A need-based relationship works like a truly mature relationship right from the start, where 1 + 1 = 2, really. In which both people are aware, sincere, aimed in the same direction and with the same goal. Perhaps this is love, the mature one, the one that grows with time.

In such a relationship, the stages of falling in love do not occur. There is a phase of illusion linked to the arrival of the novelty, yes, a phase in which you tend to behave as in a traditional love relationship, while remaining aware of how the other person really is.

A relationship like this, without butterflies in the stomach, without doubts about the future, perhaps does not generate the same feelings as when two people are in love. In a relationship like this, love has nothing to do with it. Maturity has to do with both sides. Awareness of each other. It is a kind of affinity contract.

If you want a relationship like this, go ahead. But don’t try to disguise it in any other way. Enjoy it as it is.