Teaching Assertiveness To Children

Teaching assertiveness to children means that our children will be able to communicate better and avoid having ideas imposed on them that they do not share, learning in turn not to impose their way of thinking on anyone.

Personal skills can be learned. When it is said that a child is like a white paper, in a certain sense it is true, since it is capable of discovering and internalizing values, skills, etc. In this regard, we would like to explain how to teach assertiveness to children.

That said, and since we can’t “put the cart before the horse,” we will briefly explain what assertiveness is and then present some useful strategies so that children can learn it naturally.

What is assertiveness?

By assertiveness we mean the ability that a human being acquires when he is able to react to any circumstance with common sense, without using violence or aggression, but not even passively.

In other words, an active, empathic individual, capable of reacting with common sense, showing his feelings, understanding others, with respect, without outbursts or excesses, without annoying or attacking, always using the right measures depending on the circumstance.

Assertiveness is halfway between passivity, i.e. those children who easily allow themselves to be submitted or accept the opinions of others without considering their thoughts and needs, and aggression, i.e. when one tends to impose one’s own vision of the world, showing poor empathy and tolerance without respecting the ideas and feelings of others.

The benefits of assertiveness

Assertiveness can allow children to develop in an environment that accepts them, encourages them to explore their talents and interests, understands them and holds them accountable. The advantages are therefore numerous:

Ease of communicating emotions, ideas and opinions.
Less influence from other people.

Less guilt.
Always respectful and tolerant behavior, but without becoming submissive or overly passive.
Defense of one’s rights, but always respecting those of others.
Ability to refuse without being overly influenced by the opinions of others when these are considered harmful.
Ability to give impartial opinions without fear of what others say.
It also adds the ability to listen to the opinions of others, accepting them without any sense of guilt.
Greater tolerance for all kinds of attitudes, behaviors, opinions, advice, etc.
Don’t manipulate and, of course, don’t let yourself be manipulated by other people.
Increased sense of personal well-being, always in line with one’s ideas, values and personal ethics.
Improve balanced emotional self-awareness.
Adequate and necessary self-regulation.

How to teach assertiveness to children

Let’s see how to teach assertiveness to children now that we know its many benefits. If we want our little ones to grow up healthy, fulfilled and happy, let’s take note of these ideas.

Be an example

For children to learn assertiveness, it is essential that they see responsible and assertive behavior in adults. This is why we need to pay attention to how we relate to others, how we communicate and how we treat other people, because our children will always admire us and behave accordingly.

Create an appropriate communicative environment

Children should understand that they can communicate openly, expressing their feelings naturally and honestly.

Being able to talk about their conflicts and problems without fear of being vulnerable or ridiculed is important in creating an assertive environment in which they are comfortable talking about their feelings and emotions.

Provide adequate tools to teach assertiveness

It is also a good idea to provide children with tools to help them learn to express themselves and speak clearly. However, everything should be done with respect and tolerance.

That is why we will look for the most respectful formulas to encourage children to express themselves appropriately.

Ideas for teaching assertiveness to children.

Negotiation and compromise

We will teach children to resolve conflicts by negotiating and giving in when appropriate. This is a skill they will use throughout their lives, both personally and socially and professionally.

Knowing how to say no when necessary to teach assertiveness

It happens to a lot of people. Sometimes when we say no to something, it feels like we’re attacking the other person, that we don’t love them or that we don’t care about them. But that’s not the case.

We need to be aware that children will have to have their own opinion and, if they don’t want to do something they don’t feel like doing or don’t consider necessary, they can refuse without necessarily feeling guilty.

Conclusions

Teaching assertiveness to children makes them active, not passive individuals, who defend their way of being, their priorities and their tastes, without imposing anything on anyone and without imposing anything on them.