The bad news is that yes, being physically unattractive makes it a little harder to find a partner.
The good news, though, is that this small hurdle also prepares us to establish better quality relationships – if we want and commit – it’s up to us.
Very often in love the law of the market is admitted if there is supply, there is demand.
In love, these days, the most requested “products” are: who is more attractive to the eye, who has money or the appreciation of other people. Although it is rarely proposed in these terms, since it is strange to strip love of its romantic and innocent aura, in practice it is true that in love there are biological laws that influence us as living beings. Laws that go against some and for others.
Those who combine these attributes have an easier time in the love market, there is no doubt about this. But having an easy life doesn’t always mean living better.
It happens very often that this apparent ease ends up turning against us and that, instead, the difficulty becomes a strength. In particular, if we stop talking about the love market and start dealing with true love. Because, as Ortega y Gasset said:
Physical attraction: desire of many who believe they have none
Attraction is an arbitrary attribute, since by definition it refers more to the perceiving person rather than the perceived person.
To a large extent, it does not depend on effort, but on various anatomical parameters relating especially to the face. Moreover, every culture defines – or at least has a great influence in the definition – what is beautiful and what is not. Therefore, it is as if it were an imposed factor.
It is also a condition with no significant effects on society
; Whether people are beautiful or not, it doesn’t do much for the progress of humanity as a whole. The group of unattractive famous figures is far larger than that made up of geniuses, heroes and thinkers who can also respond to the current standards of beauty.
Currently there are those who are born beautiful and those who make themselves beautiful.
These days, attraction is a quality you can buy
. Physically redesigning a person is a real possibility. It is done in operating rooms, gyms and thanks to thousands of products and procedures that are applied in beauty centers.
Despite the little importance that attraction can play for the evolution of society, we are very interested in it.
In fact, many people are rather anxious because of this, others fall into the abyss of depression and many others give real proof of will to fight the desires of the body with the aim of maintaining it or acquiring an adequate physical shape through sport or the power supply.
Physical beauty and the couple
Physical attraction is something that, by definition, attracts, confers an edge, and saves effort.
It is called attraction because those who have it can count on a sort of magnet to attract the attention of others and can conquer a partner more easily. Moreover, a couple of beautiful people continues to be a mark indicating a status, a value, especially in certain cultures, and arouses erotic impulses more easily. This, for example, is a real barrier for those who are not very attractive.
A physically unattractive person, if he wants to improve his chances of finding or choosing a partner, can opt for two ways:
one is to become a victim of this logic, the other is to reverse it.
Those who accept being a victim of the situation end up demoralizing and closing up like a hedgehog, therefore, in addition to being unattractive, they will probably also develop interaction strategies that make them even less attractive. Those who accept the challenge, on the other hand, end up building a different logic in which, with their own attitude, they make themselves accessible to others and allow them to appreciate its other attractive characteristics.
One thing is certain:
if physical attraction opens the doors of conquest more easily, it does not make the path that will follow easier.
An advantage is assumed for the first few steps, but not beyond. It is even possible that this goes against the attractive person, because the rest of the characteristics that appear “at second sight” may not be up to the physical appearance and end up generating a disappointment on the expectations of others. Because of this, some relationships end just as easily as they started.
Physical attraction also row against us when you want to go one step further than the occasional conquest.
Beauty is an absolute value only in the minds of some teenagers
, of those who hide heavy complexes or those who are very alienated.
There are many messages aimed at making us believe that the world is made for the beautiful, the rich and the powerful. These messages are fueled by people who profit economically on those who believe in them, showing themselves almost infinitely willing to sacrifice to gain an extra beauty point that offers a cream or a very expensive gymnastic equipment.
In short: it cannot be denied that being physically unattractive is a barrier in finding a partner. But
it is not a barrier to love and be loved
, and it’s not the only thing that makes us more attractive or more repulsive either. There is more, that is, elements over which we have more control, such as our attitude or our personality.
