People Asking For Favors: Why Do They Do It?

“Come on, it doesn’t cost you anything … will you do me this favor?” People who ask for favors all the time don’t stop surprising us. They employ a thousand resources, hundreds of excuses and millions of flattery to make us give in, to get what they want from us. If you know someone who behaves this way, you have probably asked yourself several times before: why does he do this?

We wonder for two reasons. The first, quite obvious, is that asking for a favor is never easy, at least for most people. When we do, it’s probably because we have no choice and we have reached the limit. We are disconcerted, therefore, to see people who do not hesitate to make direct or indirect requests with such ease.

But there is also another problem: these situations cause us tension. They insinuate the doubt that the other is taking advantage of us; leaving us suspended in situations for which sooner or later we will have to set limits, raise walls, which are not always welcome.

What defines the character of people who ask for favors all the time? We talk about it in detail in this article.

The person behind the smile

There are those who ask for favors because they really need them and when they do, one can see the expression of need, vulnerability and even the shadow of shyness in their face. Because doing it is not easy at all, and pride must give way to naked emotions. Well, people who usually ask for favors and who are always on us have a completely different expression.

Their requests are accompanied by warm smiles, like that of a three-year-old boy asking for a toy to be bought. Often these favor experts make their requests in a hurry, because something has happened suddenly and they need it immediately.

Thus, they place us between a rock and a hard place, making it almost impossible for us to answer with a “no”. This behavioral model already gives us a taste of what lies behind it.

Types of people who ask for favors all the time

Narcissists: If you love me, you owe me

Narcissistic personalities abound in our everyday universe. There are many individuals who, without actually suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder, show traits and behaviors that make coexistence difficult. In that sense, they are determined to ask for something from others.

They do it, however, in a very sophisticated way by appealing to phrases such as “for the good that I love you, I’m sure you will” or the classic “I would do the same for you”. Emotional blackmail is the driving force behind most of their demands, to which we can yield until we can’t stand it anymore.

When the relationship is more intimate, there is less hesitation in asking for favors

Whether it is a partner, a family member or a long-time friend, often this close relationship reduces the reluctance, to the point of demanding what is asked. Nevertheless, it is good to be clear: love, affection or sharing the same genetic heritage cannot force us to satisfy the requests of others.

There are limits and those limits make any relationship healthy. Loving someone does not mean that we must always give them everything.

Lack of empathy and selfishness in people who ask for favors without hesitation

Some people show a total lack of empathy, which is why they don’t understand that the favor asked is uncomfortable. They are profiles interested only in their own good, who seek to immediately satisfy their needs, their momentary whims.

In our society, selfishness is very present and can also be close to us, especially in the form of people who continually ask for favors.

Depend on others because you are unable to solve your own problems

Behind this behavior there is often an equally important factor, namely the inability of some to take responsibility for their own lives. As we all know, maturity, competence and resolve are defined by the ability to solve daily challenges by oneself; be they large or small.

There are people who have never learned to take responsibility. Following this, we may have the classic friend, colleague, neighbor or even a family member who expects us to solve their problems. Doing it once is enough to trigger an almost total addiction. 

How to treat people who ask for favors?

Who has never been in this situation ? We may have a work colleague used to always asking us for something, who assumes it doesn’t cost us anything to cover his back or do what he asks and help him at the last minute.

The first recommendation in these cases is to always do what your heart suggests. You have to take actions that make you feel good. If at some point we perceive that the person in question is taking advantage of us or we do not like his request, it is best to say it immediately and act.

It is good to place limits on those who continually ask for favors and tell them, when necessary, “no, I don’t want to”. When the request comes from a family member or someone who is very dear to us, we must speak honestly.

It is not by answering “no” to their request that we show less affection. This not only allows you to maintain your own integrity, but also to respect your own spaces and understand that relationships are made of reciprocity. To love means to always be sincere and if we don’t want to do something, we must say it and for this we deserve respect.

These are complex situations that you must learn to manage as soon as possible to live together and protect your self-esteem.