Millennials And Marriage: Will You Marry Me?

Marriage is not in decline, it is only being postponed. This is what emerges from several statistics and studies carried out on the relationship between millennials and marriage. The new generations have not lost interest in the idea of ​​getting married, they have simply changed the how and when.

Millennial couples still believe in marriage, although they rarely decide to get married before at least six years of relationship.

Already the generation preceding the millennials had begun to lengthen the times; a trend also imitated by the very young of today. This time it takes to get to know yourself and your partner better seems to have become a real guarantee to prevent the marriage from failing.

After all, many millennials are children of divorced parents; an aspect that is by no means secondary if we want to understand why nowadays the times before the fateful “yes” have lengthened so much. An important aspect to consider is of course also the economic one.

To avoid the “belt tightening” situation of marriage and family building, today’s young people prefer to pursue their professional careers first. What could be seen as a selfish act, actually highlights a profound sense of responsibility in the face of the prospect of raising children in a world as competitive as the present one.

Millennials and marriage, let’s talk about statistics

What emerges from the statistics published by the New York Times is that young people of the so-called generation Y are waiting longer and longer before getting married. In the United States, the average age to marry in 2018  was 30 for males and 28 for females.

In addition to this, the percentage of people who decided to get married decreased by 25% compared to the young people of the 1970s.

Contrary to what happened until a few decades ago, young couples invest much more time in consolidating relationships or deciding to move in before getting married. Statistics also tell us that most people who earn less than $30,000 a year see their financial situation as a drag on marriage.

The reality is better than it seems

Beyond the fact that statistics may seemingly suggest a very pessimistic scenario, a thorough reading of the data actually suggests a profound, but also responsible change in the relationship between millennials and marriage.

According to researcher Stephanie Coontz, by the time young millennials reach middle age, 80% of them have already married. Roughly the same percentage as 50 years ago. What changes, as we have seen, is simply the age at which one gets married.

Millennial women and marriage

One of the factors that seems to have a decisive influence on all the aspects just examined is the new role hard earned by women in recent decades. Compared to their mothers and grandmothers, young millennials haven’t grown up with the ultimate goal of marriage.

For the first time in history, women are shifting their focus from marriage as a life purpose to a “quality” marriage as an ultimate goal. Just getting married is no longer the aim of today’s young women, who when they decide to take this step are looking first for a partner who will guarantee them a happy and lasting relationship. Even at the corporate level, marriage has ceased to be the fundamental junction with which to “evaluate” a person’s achievements.

Quality weddings

For all those who are still skeptical and pessimistic about these trends, here is a fundamental fact: millennial weddings seem to be of higher quality, albeit less frequent. The divorce rate dropped by 18% between 2008 and 2016. These numbers were gleaned from a study conducted by Phillip Cohen of the University of Maryland. The author of the study concludes that millennials are adopting an increasingly selective approach when it comes to marriage.

Their goal is to distinguish passionate relationships from those that could lead to a marriage, since the two types do not always coincide. They are looking for greater stability as a couple, a relationship that lasts over time, a coexistence that can be rewarding and an indispensable economic security.

So let us not be afraid of important cultural and social changes. The institution of marriage is not losing value among young people, but is simply undergoing a different interpretation and enhancement.