Forgiveness Frees You From The Past And Allows You To Move Forward

Forgiveness is one of the greatest displays of generosity in existence.  Forgiveness is an almost inevitable part of all relationships we have. Granting it and receiving it is a question of freedom, an option gives it enormous value, since it requires a greater effort than its alternatives: not to receive it or not to grant it.

There are people who do not forgive because they think that, in this way, they do not free others from feelings of guilt; but, in reality,  the person who suffers most is the one unable to forgive. Not doing so implies that the pain remains deep in his heart, turning into a kind of dagger, sharp and out of control, capable of causing enormous and unpredictable damage.

Not knowing how to forgive fills you with anger and resentment, so it is very likely that you will end up feeding your thoughts with these negative emotions.  Forgiving someone who has hurt you is not easy, but it is necessary to do so, in order for the wounds to heal and to leave behind any emotion that may harm you.    

Wrong ways of understanding forgiveness

There are people who misunderstand forgiveness, believe it is a kind of competition that rewards the winner and penalizes the loser. A wrong way of understanding forgiveness has to do with the following beliefs:

• Free the other person from their actions
• Surrender
• Turn the other cheek
• Pretend nothing happened
• Admit that your anger is not justified
• Forcing yourself to get along with someone you think might hurt again.

Understanding forgiveness as a healing freedom

However, in reality, forgiveness has nothing to do with what has just been listed. Forgiveness has to do with oneself, with feeling good  and preventing penance from going beyond reflection and teaching. Forgiveness is characterized by:

• Release resentment and resentment
• Heal wounds and scars
• Being a choice to move to a better state of mind
• Helping to focus one’s attention on the positives
• Give a great opportunity: erase everything and start over  
• Free: it is your choice, do not forget that you are in control of your feelings.

Let time play its part

When something hurts, remember that you cannot change the past and that, on the contrary, it is the present and the future that give you the opportunity to intervene: mitigating, remedying and restoring.

Let your positive energy come out without having to fight, without having to face a tough fight. Keep your attention focused on getting better, thus preventing the damage from making you unable to feel gratitude for the remaining positive things that happen to you.

Forgiving and being forgiven is equally liberating

Forgiveness is a great act of goodness towards yourself and towards others,  which will help you move forward and make you realize that there is nothing worse than feeling bad about yourself. Furthermore, those who receive forgiveness can learn a great lesson about humility and human worth that will perhaps transform their perspective.

The pain that damage causes is often inevitable. However, don’t give it the power to stay in your life, because it won’t want to go away. The only person who can control your feelings is you. If you just relive the pain of what happened, you will empower the person who hurt you.

Don’t cling to negative feelings in order to move forward

Holding on to negative feelings and anger will paralyze you. Anger is just an external signal of the pain, fear, guilt, or frustration you feel when you are hurt. While the pain will never completely go away, forgiveness will help you get rid of anger and feel better. 

While there is no single way to forgive, many people do it naturally, while others have to try and work hard to get it right. You can, for example, make an argument like this: “I will not dedicate my hatred, anger or resentment to this person.”

Remember that things that have happened cannot be changed, but that you have the power to decide how you react to the facts.  For this reason, internal dialogue is necessary: ​​write down what you feel. If everything is negative, make an effort to try to see things positively.

To conclude, remember that perfection does not exist. That errors exist, even if we try to ignore them. The only thing that can really change is our attitude towards them and our ability to have the damage and pain they cause disappear from our lives as soon as possible.