Condominium Stalking: Harassment Between Neighbors

The term “harassment” refers to different areas of daily life. Toddlers can be bullied at school. In the home, there may be episodes of harassment in the family; even in the world of work, at times, we clash with bullying, perpetrated against us by colleagues or relatives. As we can see, hostility between people, aggression and violence are the order of the day. In the neighborhood we can find a similar phenomenon, known as condominium stalking.

It is a form of harassment perpetrated by one or more close ones to the detriment of another person who lives in the same neighborhood or area. This harassment is not limited only to problems of coexistence, but it is a real recurring harassment.

The victim, therefore, will notice specific psychological consequences, which can be observed in most victims of maltreatment. Some of the symptoms manifested can be low self-esteem, constant anxiety and fear, despair, symptoms of depression, and even suicidal thoughts.

Nowadays, harassment between neighbors, or blocking , is indicated as a crime by article 612 bis of the Criminal Code, and therefore constitutes a real crime.

Stages of condominium stalking

This phenomenon is made up of several distinct phases. The ideal is not to wait for everyone to take shape, but to report as soon as we begin to notice that the harassment is starting to manifest itself.

• Conflict phase. In general, condominium stalking begins to take shape as a result of unresolved problems over time, related to coexistence between neighbors. For example, the fact that a neighbor has a dog that barks for most of the day and that these barks annoy another condominium.

• Beginning of the harassment. Mechanisms of harassment are set in motion by the neighbor who has had a conflict or by several neighbors. For example, don’t say hello when you meet in the elevator or make comments in a low voice about the other person. At this stage, both the victim and the neighbors usually deny the harassment. This denial implies the avoidance of that reality which, if not blocked in time, causes a perpetration of hostility and harassment.

• External intervention. The situation becomes public and various external agents begin to intervene to seek a solution to the problem.

• Marginalization, flight or exclusion. In this last phase, the victim may feel compelled to leave their home, put the apartment up for sale, and so on. If she cannot do it, she is sometimes forced to move around the community hiding so as not to have to meet any neighbors, to climb the stairs so as not to take the elevator and not to run into anyone in the hall of the condominium, and so on. This, in the long run, leads to the complete wearing down of the victim, who cannot feel comfortable in their own home.

What can we do on a psychological level?

It is very important that a psychological intervention is carried out, whether it is on the victim or on his or her tormentor. From this point of view it is essential to do a good job of communication and assertiveness.

For example, if one neighbor has a dog that barks all day and the other neighbor complains, it would be important for the two sides to meet where there is understanding. The neighbor who has the dog should, first of all, apologize, make it not happen again or educate the dog to avoid barking (by turning to a trainer, not leaving him alone, giving him toys to keep him busy long enough …).

On the other hand, the neighbor who complains – and who is likely to be harassed in case of no solution – must try to be more flexible and understand that a dog cannot be abandoned because it disturbs someone and should tolerate a little. ‘of noise.

If you can come to an agreement, become more flexible and tolerant, and on the other hand try to find a solution, the harassment is very likely not to progress and stop there. If we get defensive, however, it is easier for it to be perpetrated and for it to end much worse than it started.

What to do if you are the victim of condominium stalking

When the harassment has already begun, the victim must rely on a psychologist who can help them gain confidence and self-esteem. It may be advisable to withdraw from the behavior of neighbors, not to enter into discussions and, above all, not to react to insults and humiliations.

This, however, if the harassment is only verbal. If there is any kind of physical abuse, a complaint must be made. Ignoring certain behaviors can cause the neighbor accuser to get bored.

If none of this works and if the harassment continues over time, the option to move can be a solution. Although it is the last resort, because of all that it entails.

In the new home it is important that the victim, in order not to fall back into the same situation, introduces himself to all the neighbors, points out that he has a dog, that he plays the piano in the afternoon and that he has a baby crying at night, etc. All this so that the neighbors know what they might be up against.