Co-dependent Relationship, How To Get Out Of It?

A codependent relationship is one in which the members of the couple are dependent on each other, but also feel the constant need to help the partner and to care for him in order to feel good.

This means that they forget about themselves and focus all their attention on the other. The main problem is that these relationships are based on insecurity. It becomes important to put an end to a relationship of codependency, since the threads that weave its web – besides insecurity – are fear, dependence, low self-esteem and unhappiness.

The backbone on which these relationships are based is emotional dependence, that is, that extreme and constant emotional need to exist for the other and thanks to the other and to be nothing without him / her. Due to the low self-esteem of the two parties involved, they will both seek happiness through their partner.

As a result, most of their life will revolve around their relationship. It will become very difficult – or even impossible – for them to broaden the horizons of their personal life beyond the relationship with their partner.

Here are some ways to end a codependent relationship. Thanks to them, you can more easily identify the source of the problem and know what to do if you find yourself in this situation.

Whether or not to terminate a relationship

First of all, the best thing to do is to become aware of the decisions made during the relationship. This first step will be based on the analysis of the path taken so far, in the most objective way possible. The idea is to consider staying with your partner because that’s what you want or because you don’t want to hurt them. In the latter case, it is important to know that it is not up to you to worry about it.

If you have found that your relationship is not contributing to your fulfillment, you need to make a decision to break it down. In a relationship of codependency, you forget your needs, which is why you need to be strong and aware of the best choice for both.

To end a relationship, the best thing is to talk to the other person. By doing so, you will be able to make her understand what are the inconveniences that the situation brings to both of you, from your point of view, and why the best option is to break up.

In these cases, it is very important to act calmly, as the other person is likely not to make the decision well. If you stay calm, you will be able to better manage a partner’s reaction of anger or sadness.

Addressing the typical behaviors of the codependent relationship

Once the breakup is formalized, it makes no sense to analyze the positive aspects that the relationship gave you. Now that you have distanced yourself, you may notice that the situation was an obstacle to your growth.

When you come out of a codependent relationship, you happen to feel more and more cheerful and energetic. This will help you stay firm on your decision regarding the breakup.

But it’s just as easy to feel a feeling of abandonment. Breaking the dynamic in which one side cared for the other implies a feeling of emptiness in daily life. If you find that these feelings are getting very intense, you can turn to a psychologist to help you manage them.

On the other hand, ending a relationship will give you the opportunity to start meeting your needs, which you couldn’t do before. Now, however, you can dedicate yourself completely to yourself, without needing the other person to define your importance.

Coping with the consequences of separation

To avoid falling back into the codependent relationship, it will be important to create a physical distance with the other person. You have to do the impossible to spend as little time together as possible and keep busy focusing on your needs. Some tips are to move home or start relating to other people.

On the other hand, you must also accept the sadness and discomfort that you will face following the breakup and separation. Dealing with these feelings rather than repressing them is key to moving forward. Only in this way will you avoid sinking into a lack of trust or fear of relating to other people or giving yourself the opportunity to start a new relationship.

Step by step, the sadness and discomfort will fade away, while meeting your needs will help you feel happier and happier. However, having good social support is essential for moving on. This is why it is advisable to spend time with your friends and family. They can help you in difficult times or when the time comes to make complicated decisions.

Finally, don’t forget that it is very important to spend time alone with yourself to process what has happened and to reorganize your emotional world. In this way, you will be able to heal your wounds, regain self-esteem and prepare yourself to live happily, whether you are single or in the company of a new partner.