Life Will Give Us What We Need, But Only If We Believe We Deserve It

When a person understands, internalizes and realizes that he deserves to be happy, life opens up to him, the days bring new opportunities to light, the locks open and the puzzles are transformed into statues of salt blown away by the wind. Nothing can stop us from the moment we realize we are deserving of happiness, while others can only try to intimidate our wills.

As Emily Dickinson said in her poems, people ignore their greatness until they stand up. The curious thing is that it is often our upbringing, society and the people around us that prefer to see us seated, submissive, silent and obedient.

In fact, this is exactly what happened to the well-known poet from Massachusetts, whose disappointments, fears and sadness ended up locking her in the room of her family home in Amherst, turning her into little more than a shadow, into a very thin figure. that the neighbors could observe through the windows. Of all her 1,800 written poems, she only saw a dozen published, while of the people around her she loved only one, but neither she nor he was ever brave enough to take the first step.

Those were other times, there is no doubt. It was another mentality. Yet, strange as it may seem, the complex universe of emotions, insecurities and lack of self-confidence is an aspect that never goes out of style. It is like a video that never ends, which brings us the magic of an occasion but which lets it go away, which teaches us what happiness is, but immediately takes it away, leaving us with desires, sufferings, remembrance and repentance.

Repentance for not daring more, for not fighting, for not feeling worthy of that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, for not having courage enough for that lost love …

You deserve a better life

Anna started going to the gym because she wanted a healthier life. He goes there every day from 7pm to 8pm, but still continues to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. Carlo lost his job 9 months ago. He goes out every day to distribute curricula, but when he returns home, he begins to eat compulsively, so much so that his physique has changed dramatically. Marta ended a very troubled relationship a month ago, and immediately threw herself on the online chats with the obsessive idea of ​​finding the ideal partner.

All of these are examples that can be summed up in the central idea that while we find balance in one area of ​​our life, we take worrying steps backwards in another. A little as if we do not fully accept that we deserve a better life, and this often leads us to stop taking care of ourselves in a full and healthy way. Why do we do it? Why don’t we try to take authentic control of our reality in order to achieve well-being?

The answer to this question must be sought not only in our past, but also in our inability to take care of ourselves, to seek psychological well-being and, even before, to manage our emotions. In the three examples we have presented, we have seen how each of these people does some things that they do well. One goes to the gym, the other looks for work and the last has ended a complicated and unhappy relationship.

Yet, the other behaviors give life to those very common black holes: anxiety, uncertainty, fear of the future, the inability to be alone, addiction to certain substances … We all know we deserve a life better, but we do not know how to satisfy the authentic needs, those that reside in a more intimate and deeper level of our being.

Trust in yourself, because being happy is not a necessity but a right

Life will only give us more opportunities if we put one foot in front of the other to go and find it. Happiness will knock on our door only if we are receptive, if we are attentive, prepared and above all … willing. Because whoever lets himself be led adrift by fears and insecurities will be shipwrecked on the island of lost opportunities. Because whoever gives up in the face of disappointment will sooner or later suffer from the same physical and mental ailment that Emily Dickinson forced herself into.

In these times when Twitter and Facebook are full of happiness pills in the form of loving phrases, there is something we must not lose sight of. Something that the promoters of positive psychology remind us very carefully: we must learn to accept painful experiences, regardless of how hard they can be. A dismissal, a disappointment or a mishap are events that we have to send down by force. Once we have plunged into the chaotic abyss of negative emotions, it is time to return to the surface, and we will do it stronger than before. Feeling important. More.

In our complicated daily life we ​​have to internalize the fact that people not only deserve to feel good, to feel calm, to know satisfaction, freedom, triumph and the taste of happiness. All of these dimensions are actually straight . Because it doesn’t matter what our story is, where we come from or who we are … We all have every right to be happy and to choose how to be happy.