I Like Myself As I Am, I Will Not Change For Anyone

I will not change for you, so don’t ask me to be more docile, thinner or to give up my passions to satisfy your needs. I like myself as I am, so you will have to accept me with all my nuances: because it is in them that my happiness resides, my integrity.

Experts say that many people tend to change their personality when three situations arise: they have to adapt to a given environment, they want to achieve a goal, they want to avoid something that makes them feel uncomfortable or scares them. Believe it or not, these situations can also occur in a couple relationship.

There are people who, even today, think that living in a relationship means giving up everything for someone else. Without compromises. It is in these situations that many people gradually file their character and their openness: they adapt to the wishes of their partner in order to be able to “get stuck” to it and thus obtain what they believe they want, but which, over time, it will only make you miserable.

Whoever renounces loses; whoever changes what he called him to make someone else happy stops being himself. And that is why the relationship can only be a farce destined for failure, because one person will become dominant, while the other will wear a mask that does not identify him. Don’t allow it!

I will not change for you, but I will grow with you

Personality is a psychological construction that we form in the course of our life, through the experiences we live and the way we process them on an emotional level. We are a set of virtues, limitations, manias, values, dreams and expectations that we cannot change overnight. It would not be logical, nor would it be healthy.

There are people who would like to change the world to fit their expectations, but they don’t understand that life itself changes us. Precisely for this reason, it is necessary to have a strong personality, but able to adapt, able to face the unexpected.

We must also underline an important aspect: change is not negative, if the need to do it comes from ourselves. Each of us needs to change in life. We have to change our way of thinking, our purposes and our attitude and if we want to adapt and achieve balance and personal growth.

Mind you, though, these changes must be voluntary; if they come from within us, they do not cause any problems. We change our thoughts to change our reality. We change for ourselves, not for others.

Another detail to take into consideration is that, when the couple’s relationship is based on inequality and unhappiness, it is often one of the two members that forces the other to change. In other relationships, however, one of the two people alone decides to change, because she wants to adapt to the other, to be more accepted and more loved.

But anyone who tries to look like someone they are not, just to be loved more, just proves that they don’t love themselves. And although for a certain period of time it may seem that they are happy and that everything is fine, little by little this mask destroys self-esteem and makes it collapse like a sand castle on the seashore.

I don’t want to change to be loved, love me for who I am

There is no need to say things you don’t think, to give reasons just to make others happy or to seem like the person others expect you to be. If you continue to behave like this, the day will come when you don’t even know who you are, what you want or what is important to you.

It is essential that those who love you, be it your partner, your friends or your family, love you not only for who you are, but also “despite” who you are. This means that they must love you with your lights and shadows, with your successes and your scars.

Maybe right now you want to find a partner or you want to be able to count on good friends, but first of all you need to be ready to be a partner or friend. If you know how you are and are happy with yourself, you will be able to offer others the best of you.

I will not change for you, I will walk by your side

We all change every day, but we never lose our essence, our principles and our values. For this reason, we must not give up what defines us, because otherwise we will stop being ourselves.

Think about it: if someone forces you to change, it’s because they don’t like you the way you really are. And, if they don’t like you, the problem is not yours, but of those who are unable to accept the person in front of them.

The bonds between people serve to grow, not to limit; to walk together, not to trip; to build new horizons, not to make them vanish. If they persist in changing us, we will live surrounded by censorship, shocks and wounds. Don’t allow it.

Images courtesy of Pascal Campion and Junne Kim