The Art Of Knowing How To Listen
Yes, listening is an art, because not everyone knows it and puts it into practice. Staying silent until the other has finished speaking is not listening, thinking about what to say while the other expresses his idea is not listening. Knowing how to listen means elaborating what you hear, giving it meaning and making an effort to try to understand what our interlocutor wants to share. In this sense, silence sometimes says more than a thousand words and for this reason it is important to know how to use it.
Many times listening is just that: listening. It does not necessarily require intervention. Rather, it requires closeness, sharing of spaces, understanding towards the person who is speaking and wants to share something, a harmony made of interest and patience.
When we stop thinking, ourselves and understand how much it hurts us to see the other face a bad moment, listening opens a door to the inner world of our interlocutor. “I don’t want him to suffer, I really want to know how he feels and not how I think he feels. I want him to feel that I’m here for him and I don’t want to use phrases like ‘I know’ , ‘the same thing happened to me’ , ‘I understand you’ … because they don’t really help. I simply want to be close to you, to listen to you ”.
Create the right environment for listening
This suitable environment is made of silence, a silence that is functional and that, without wanting to deceive us, is sometimes also uncomfortable. But it is a necessary silence. Silence offers a space where you can find calm, where you can think and mull over the words you have heard and, therefore, proceed with the conversation.
Tolerating this silence makes the environment relaxed and not punctuated by haste. Listening gives us clues as to what the other needs and this is only possible when we really focus our attention on their story and behavior. Silence offers a pause and invites us to continue the story, silence also helps us to listen to ourselves. Finally, it also offers the opportunity to speak, especially for those who are not particularly talkative and need a little nudge.
Close your eyes and listen
Close your eyes and awaken your senses, close your lips and open your ears, turn off the brain and turn on the heart. You are now ready to listen. Everything around you has a sound and if you speak, you will not be able to hear it. Everything that addresses you, tells you something of its being and its experience, if you listen and pay attention only to your person, you will not be able to know it.
Forget the clichés that are limited only to appease the sorrow or anxiety of others. This is not listening. Sometimes listening does not require a response or leads to a simple reaction such as a hug or a sincere smile. Create a listening context, be willing to listen to what the other tells you, only then can you react, say or do something.
Knowing how to listen is an art, it is the sign of the pencil that traces the path on the map that allows us to connect with others. Listening is an art because it allows us to listen to what we do not know, listening allows us to see new realities and explore emotions never experienced from different points of view. Listening allows us to help, to find the best way to do it. Knowing how to listen is an art because it brings us closer to what we do not know.
